What to expect: IVF Consult & Appointments
Whether IVF is your first path or one you’ve arrived at after months (or years) of trying, the process can feel both hopeful and heavy. And for couples navigating it together, it can be easy for one partner (usually the one not injecting hormones) to feel unsure of where they fit in.
Step One: The Setup
The Consultation
You’ll start with a fertility clinic consultation. It’s usually about 60–90 minutes and includes:
A full review of your medical history (both partners)
Discussion of past fertility efforts
An overview of the IVF process, success rates, and costs
Helpful Tip: Both partners should be there. This is the appointment that sets the tone and the plan—and no one should be getting secondhand summaries of life-changing decisions.
A Workup
Before anything starts, your doctor needs to understand your baseline. Note: If you’ve already pursued IUI, this might not be required in IVF cycles.
For the person carrying:
Bloodwork to assess hormone levels
Ultrasound to check ovarian reserve and uterine structure
Infectious disease testing such as STDs
Genetic carrier screening (optional but often recommended for both)
For the partner (if contributing sperm):
Semen analysis
Infectious disease testing such as STDs
Genetic carrier screening (optional but often recommended for both)
Timing: This part takes 1–2 weeks depending on schedules and lab turnaround.
Plan ahead: You’ll have a few scattered appointments here, and some will need to be timed with the menstrual cycle. Having both partners aware of (and protecting) these windows helps reduce stress.
Step Two: Prepping for the Cycle
Financial Consult
Before meds or procedures begin, you’ll meet with someone from the clinic’s finance team. Expect:
A breakdown of IVF costs
What’s covered by insurance (if anything)
Options for payment plans, grants, or financing
Plan ahead: IVF is expensive (and complex). Bring your questions to the clinic and don’t be afraid to ask! And if you’re the partner not doing the injections, consider this your moment to handle the money side so your person doesn’t have to.
Medication Training
Once your protocol is finalized, the clinic will walk you through how to mix and inject the meds. These may include:
Stimulation meds (like Gonal-F or Menopur)
Hormone antagonists
Trigger shots
You’ll also get a calendar (usually color-coded and terrifying) that shows exactly what happens each day.
Partner participation: Most partners end up doing some of the injections, especially the harder-to-reach ones (hello, progesterone-in-oil in the butt). Learning together helps reduce fear and increase confidence.
Step Three: The Stimulation Phase
This is the part people think of when they picture IVF: shots, bloating, daily appointments. It lasts about 8–12 days.
You’ll go in for:
Bloodwork and ultrasounds, nearly every morning to monitor follicle growth
Adjustments to your medication doses based on progress
Timing: Appointments are usually early—think 6:30–9:00am—and sometimes daily. If possible, partners can drive, wait with snacks, or help track the numbers. Even small acts matter and make you feel like you’re in it together.
Step Four: Retrieval Day
When your follicles are ready, you’ll take a final “trigger shot” to mature the eggs.
36 hours later, you’ll go in for:
Egg retrieval: a quick procedure under sedation, lasting 20–30 minutes
Sperm collection: either on-site or pre-collected and frozen
You’ll rest for a bit, then head home.
Partner plan: Expect the person who had the retrieval to feel sore, tired, and possibly a bit loopy. Your job is to be a helpful nurse.
Step Five: The Lab Days
After retrieval:
Eggs and sperm are combined in the lab (via traditional insemination or ICSI)
You’ll get a call with a fertilization report
Embryos are monitored for 3–6 days
If you’re doing a fresh transfer, it’ll happen around day 5.
If you're doing genetic testing (PGT-A) or planning for a frozen transfer, the embryos are frozen and transferred in a future cycle.
The wait for lab updates can be brutal so check in with each other, celebrate any wins, or make plans for distraction.
Step Six: Transfer Day
A thawed embryo (or fresh one, if doing a fresh transfer) is placed into the uterus via a catheter
It’s a simple, usually pain-free procedure but can be emotional
After that, it’s the “two-week wait". You’ll often stay on hormones, take it easy, and wait for the blood test to confirm whether pregnancy has occurred.
Emotionally, this might be the hardest part, recognize that and know your feelings are valid.
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