What is IVF

IVF stands for In Vitro Fertilization. “In vitro” means “in glass” aka, fertilization happens outside the body in a lab.

It’s a type of assisted reproductive technology (ART) that helps people get pregnant when getting pregnant through sex or other fertility treatments hasn’t worked or isn’t possible.

At a high level, IVF involves:

1. Stimulating the ovaries to produce multiple eggs

2. Retrieving those eggs

3. Fertilizing them with sperm in a lab

4. Growing embryos

5. Transferring one embryo back into the uterus

If it works, that embryo implants, grows, and becomes a pregnancy. If it doesn’t, the cycle may be repeated using frozen embryos or with another fresh round.

Why People Do IVF

There are lots of reasons someone might do IVF. A few common ones:

• Unexplained infertility

• Blocked fallopian tubes

• Low sperm count or motility

• Age-related fertility decline

• Endometriosis or PCOS

• Same-sex couples or single parents by choice

• Preserving fertility before cancer treatment

• Genetic screening of embryos before pregnancy

For many, IVF is the next step after trying timed intercourse or IUI procedures. 

What the IVF Process Actually Looks Like

Here’s the step-by-step breakdown:

1. Ovarian Stimulation

In a typical cycle, one egg matures. With IVF, the goal is many eggs—because not every egg will fertilize or become an embryo.

You’ll take daily injectable medications (usually for 8–12 days) to encourage your ovaries to mature multiple eggs at once.

This phase includes:

• 5-6 early morning monitoring appointments (ultrasounds + bloodwork)

• Adjusting medication based on how your body is responding

2. Egg Retrieval

Once your eggs are ready, you’ll get a “trigger shot” to prepare them for collection. Then, about 36 hours later, you’ll go in for the egg retrieval procedure.

• It’s done under sedation

• Takes about 20–30 minutes

• The eggs are collected from the ovaries, vaginally using a thin needle guided by ultrasound

3. Fertilization

Meanwhile, a sperm sample is prepared (from a partner or donor). Then, the eggs and sperm are combined in the lab.

There are two ways:

• Traditional insemination: thousands of sperm are placed in a dish with the egg and allowed to fertilize spontaneously

• ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection): one sperm is injected directly into each egg (used when there are sperm issues, fewer eggs, history of failed fertilization, or genetic testing is planned)

You’ll get updates from the lab on how many eggs fertilized successfully. Then, they watch the embryos grow for 3–6 days.

4. Embryo Transfer

Depending on your protocol, you’ll either:

• Do a fresh transfer: transferring one embryo within the same cycle

• Freeze the embryos for a later cycle (called a frozen embryo transfer, or FET), often after additional testing

The transfer is a simple, usually pain-free procedure. You’ll rest for a bit and then go home.

The goal: that the embryo implants in the uterus and becomes a pregnancy.

5. The Wait

After transfer comes the “two-week wait,” the period between the embryo transfer and the blood test that tells you if it worked.

Depending on your treatment protocol, you may stay on hormone support (usually progesterone and estrogen) or you may not.

These two weeks can feel like forever. They’re emotionally charged and full of unknowns.

If It Works (or Doesn’t)

If the blood test is positive, congratulations, you’re pregnant! But be gentle with yourself: IVF pregnancies still need monitoring, and the emotional whiplash of “finally” can take time to process.

If it’s negative, the feelings can be devastating. You may have frozen embryos to try again, or need to regroup with your doctor about next steps.

Whatever the outcome: it’s okay to grieve, rage, rest, or try again. IVF is a process, not a guarantee (though that sucks to hear).

What IVF Feels Like

It’s not just science—it’s deeply emotional.

IVF can bring up:

• A sense of loss of control

• Stress about cost, timing, or outcomes

• Shame or isolation (“why us?”)

• Resentment if one partner carries the physical burden

IVF and Your Relationship

Here’s what we’ve learned from couples:

• The person doing the shots often feels like they have to carry everything

• The partner often wants to help but doesn’t know how

• Keeping each other in the loop, on schedules, doctor updates, how you’re feeling, matter

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